Posts Tagged reviews

I’m Still Here: Schrödinger’s Phoenix

I knew I was getting old when I got bored of metafictional games.

Case in point: I’m Still Here. Casey Affleck’s new film about his friend Joaquin Phoenix has been gestating for years – apparently, from even before Phoenix made news worldwide by announcing during a red carpet interview that he was quitting acting to pursue a career in hip hop.

It shows candid footage of the consequences of this decision: ugly early gigs, desperate attempts to work with a nonplussed Sean Combs, and endless scenes of Phoenix screaming abuse at his entourage. Drugs, girls, madness. You know: the usual.

Over nearly two hours, I’m Still Here reveals that its subject is A) a sucky rapper and B) a horrible human being.

Or is he? As I’m sure you know, almost all the buzz around the movie is of the ‘is it true or not?’ variety. Is this all a hoax? Phoenix gets angry when journalists suggest as much during the film, because the question implies his life is “a joke”.

Let’s take him at his word for a minute. What if this is an honest documentary? Well – in the words of one internet commentator featured in the film – it would be a sad story if Phoenix “wasn’t such an asshole”.

As the movie unfolds, however, it becomes more and more difficult to believe that what you’re seeing is true. And if I’m Still Here isn’t a true story, then what is it? It’s an elaborate, juvenile prank cooked up between friends to poke fun at the media. It’s not boring, exactly; it’s just empty. An astonishing amount of work for little effect.

In essence, it’s the story of an pretentious, self-obsessed actor who becomes a bad rapper. That sounds like a David Spade movie, right? (It would’ve been funnier if it was.)

Only the metafictional element, the mirrors-within-mirrors, the “oooh, are they playing a prank on Hollywood or is Joaquin just a loon?” that gives I’m Still Here any meaning at all. I think that’s why I found myself holding onto the idea that maybe, against all evidence, what I was watching could’ve been true.

It’s like Schrödinger’s Cat. A cat that’s alive isn’t much of a story, and neither is a cat that’s dead. It’s only fascinating before you open the box and the cat’s both alive and dead at once.

(I apologise for invoking the poor animal. It gets trotted out so often it must wish the waveform would just collapse and give it a 50% chance of welcome death.)

The best critique of the movie is embedded right in the middle of the movie itself: Phoenix’s infamous appearance on Letterman that unwittingly kickstarted I’m Still Here’s publicity campaign. Confronted with Phoenix’s bizarre appearance and behaviour, Letterman cracks jokes and tries not to roll his eyes.

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Splice: jmag review

Here’s my quick review of the new sci-fi / horror Splice from this month’s jmag. It was the second Adrien Brody movie I’d seen in consecutive days, but thank god here he doesn’t use his hilarious ‘yeah, I once saw an Clint Eastwood movie, so what?’ voice from Predators…

SPLICE

Directed by: Vincenzo Natali

Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chanéac

Country: Canada

Many think Frankenstein was the first science fiction story. It tapped into something so powerful we’re still seeing new twists on the story today. This year it’s Splice, from the director of the 1997 lo-fi sci-fi Cube.

Sarah Polley (always excellent) and Adrien Brody (usually terrible, though pretty okay here) play a pair of gene-splicing scientists. Bored with using animal DNA, they introduce something human into the mix and soon have a gooey ‘daughter’ born with a stinger-tipped tail – and she’s growing fast.

Splice’s weighty ethical issues let it take itself pretty seriously for a movie that’s regularly so ridiculous. I mean, there are two pink lumps of Cronenbergian flesh licking each other with monster tongues in the first five minutes, and later there’s a sex scene that’ll keep fetish websites loaded with screengrabs.

But the best thing about Splice’s science-gone-wrong is how it asks the same question that Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein asked back in 1818. What’s worse: children or parents? Splice says there’s enough horror in both.

Other reviews this month: Greenberg and The Ghost Writer in cinemas; Youth In Revolt, Cop Out, and Party Down: Season One on DVD.

Issue #42 on sale now.

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Love Exposure: jmag review

Despite my usual demands that every film should be 87 minutes long at most, I enjoyed the hell out of Sion Sono’s truly epic Love Exposure, coming out soon on DVD. Here’s my quick review from this month’s jmag – though I must admit that fitting four hours of oddness into a couple of paragraphs might’ve been beyond me.

LOVE EXPOSURE

(AI NO MUKIDASHI)

Directed by: Sion Sono

Starring: Takahiro Nishijima, Hikari Mitsushima, Sakura Ando

Country: Japan

Love Exposure is a four-hour movie about an expert upskirt photographer – so saying it’s Japanese is probably redundant, isn’t it?

It begins with Yu being forced into confession by his Catholic father. At first he invents his sins, but soon decides to actually commit them. After he’s told that everything he seeks can be found “between a woman’s legs”, he becomes an urban ninja of voyeur photography.

That’d be enough insanity for most films, but Love Exposure is more ambitious. It’s also a family farce, redemptive love story, cross-dressing kung fu comedy, and hysterical psychodrama. Its relentless exploration of how religion and sex combine gives it unexpected depth among the erection jokes. (It uses the word “pervert” so often that somewhere John Waters’ ears are burning.)

Could it’ve been shorter? Sure. But I have no idea what could’ve been cut. I just pretended it was a TV miniseries and watched it in three chunks. When you watch it – and you should – I suggest you do the same.

Other reviews this month: the less-painful-than-expected Shrek Forever After in cinemas; Tom Ford’s A Single Man and Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland on DVD.

Issue #41 is on sale now.

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Harry Brown: jmag review

Here’s my short review of UK revenge flick Harry Brown from the latest issue of jmag. One thing I didn’t manage to squeeze into the wordcount was a mention of its killer opening scene – like a low-rent remake of the first moments of Kathryn Bigelow’s Strange Days.

HARRY BROWN

Directed by: Daniel Barber

Starring: Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer

Country: UK

Michael Caine has always been a “working actor”, happy to accept a role now rather than wait around for something better. It’s why he’s been in so many great films as well as so many shockers. Harry Brown is somewhere in the middle.

This “vigilante pensioner” flick plays shamelessly into the story currently fuelling newspapers worldwide: KIDS THESE DAYS ARE SOCIOPATHIC MONSTERS WHO’LL KILL YOU AS SOON AS LOOK AT YOU, GRANDPA! Caine brings echoes of his legendary 1971 Get Carter hardarse to Harry – an elderly ex-marine who decides enough is enough. The emotional realism of his performance gives the movie a classiness that doesn’t mesh with its grimy, cartoonish thrills. (Especially the ridiculous digitally-added spurting blood.)

Most vigilante films pay at least a little lip-service to the fact that revenge is wrong – fun, sure, but wrong. Harry Brown has no such qualms. You’ll have to balance your desire to see Michael Caine kill teenage thugs with how dirty cheering him on might make you feel afterwards.

Other reviews this month: Fish Tank, Baghead, and True Blood: Season Two on DVD.

Issue #40 on sale now.

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