This will be an entirely content-free review. Even though Matt DeBenedictis’ Congratulations! There’s No Last Place if Everyone is Dead is only two dozen pages long, I still haven’t managed to read it yet. What I wanted to share is this pictorial lesson in how to make me excited about your self-published chapbook.

Send me a mysterious package tied with yellow string and sealed with wax.

Fill said package not only with your book, but with an audio CD, some instant coffee, and a handful of Yo! MTV Raps trading cards.

Include reading instructions, after presumably intuiting that, yes, I am easily confused.

Make me feel like I’m a unique snowflake. (Happy star optional.)

See? It’s that easy. Now I can’t wait to read the book inside. I just hope it lives up to the genuinely gleeful experience I had unwrapping it. You can read more about it at the Outside Writers Collective.